Meggans a mom.com - Meggans guide to a brighter life

Farewell Sweet Friend

Time to say goodbye to a trustworthy and loyal companion.  A friend who has been there for me for 18 months (since Lucas was born) and was by my side though unshowered days, post birth vagina surgery (twice), muddled speech, monobrows, unexplained tears of frustration, tears of hormones and tears of heart bursting love.  This friend got me out of sticky social situations, helped explain to others why I felt so crazy all the time, and was there for me at a moments notice.   It has been almost 18 months though since I first delivered my son and needed this friend.   I have begun to use my friend as a crutch and that it not good.  So I must say goodbye.

Goodbye to my friend, the phrase, “I just had a baby.”

When I would venture out in public looking three different kinds of wrong and people would cast concerned stares I would just call on my friend and reply,

“I just had a baby.”

When I would stumble into the nail salon and hoist my feet up for a pedicure and reveal legs so hairy that if they caught fire I would need a burn permit, I didn’t sulk in shame.  No, I just leaned on my faithful verbal companion and said,

“I just had a baby.”

After giving birth to Lucas and having my vagina look like I dove vagina first into a food processor, sitting was IMPOSSIBLE for quite awhile.  When it made others uncomfortable that I stood still like an oak tree in the living room my linguistic lover was by my side waiting to be called on as I muttered,

“I just had a baby.”

I was never alone, with “I just had a baby.”  This was especially helpful in the drug store when I would slink in after 10:00 p.m. and purchase fiber pills, stool softener, prune juice, Tuck’s medicated pads, Epsom salts…and the latest issue of Oprah magazine.  I knew the cashier must be thinking, “what is wrong with this girl’s diet!?  All questions were washed away when I looked the cashier straight in the eye and replied,

“I just had a baby.”

Those were the good old days with my wonderful friend.  It is now 18 months later and I keep telling others, “I just had a baby.”  Time to get it together Meggan.  The other day I was looking particularly homeless worn out.  Some customers at our bakery asked if I was tired.  That was my clue and I immediately whipped out my clutch phrase, “I just had a baby.”  Their confused faces said it all as I stood there holding a very large toddler that was no where near “just” being born.  In an instant I realized I was out of excuses, now I am just an exhausted Mother in it for the long haul who never sleeps, is covered in food, is drowning in laundry, is gripped in the throws of crushing anxiety and worry, and desperately could use a long shower.

I will miss ”I just had a baby.”  Time to say goodbye.  I can think of only one solution to bring back my dear friend.

Maybe I’ll get pregnant again.

Trying To Fly The Friendly Skies

“I can’t stand to fly, I’m not that naive, men weren’t meant to ride with clouds between their knees”  – Lyrics from Superman by Five For Fighting

I HATE FLYING!  Hate it, hate it, hate it.  There I said it, I am terrified to fly.  No sugar coating that one.  Ettore and I just got back from a quick flight to and from Los Angeles for a friend’s wedding.  The total flight each way is one hour and ten minutes.  For me, that is one hour and ten minutes too long.  When we landed I felt like I should have some kind of awards ceremony. 

“Meggan DID IT!  Hoorah!!  She is a hero…and very brave…She flew Southwest Airlines for over an hour!!”

This completely rational irrational fear has caused some major bumps in my life.  When I was a television reporter I spent roughly six months in the news helicopter reporting and videotaping traffic and breaking news from the sky.  It was a thrilling experience…except the fact that I was terrified and every day when I went to work I thought I was going to die!  I needed a job, so I mentioned nothing to the station and cried every morning in between my live hits and quite often broke out in hives.  I WAS A HOT MESS.  The fear of flying got so bad that eventually Ettore had to drive my fragile psyche to the helicopter pad because I couldn’t keep it together in the car on the way to the airport.  I have shed tears in the skies all over Northern California. 

Ettore on the other hand is NOT afraid of flying and can sleep through turbulence like a baby.  Something I find maddening.    Nothing scares that man, (except the thought of having more children).  Truth, when we are flying and Ettore is reading or worse, sleeping,  I get pissed.  How can he be so relaxed when we are OBVIOUSLY going to die!!  Ettore sits there snoring and I am crying, rocking back and forth, sucking my own thumb, and  slowly pulling out bits of my own hair.  I want to lean over and whisper in his ear…”I am pregnant…with TWINS…ha ha ha ha.  You want to see a grown man freak out.  We would both be begging for Jesus to save us at 40,000 feet.

Motherhood has changed all of this.  Since becoming a Mom and a Step-mom I have literally had to “ball up” and put my big girl panties on.  I am working really hard with Therapist Richard to overcome my fear of flying.  I don’t want the boys to take on my fear as their own and I really want to set a good example.  I want my boys to know we all have fears in life, but you face fear with dignity, strength, and courage and try not to let fear stand in the way of your dreams.   And if by chance, dignity, strength, and courage don’t work for you then Xanax and large amounts of alcohol generally does the trick.

Almost Ready To Deliver

I feel like waiting for my new website is like waiting to deliver a baby (hopefully without all the vaginal tearing).  I am so close to launching my new baby (website) out into the world. My feet are in the stirrups, I am dilated, the design team tells me any day now.  Unike the OB/GYN though, the design team doesn’t have to stick their hand up inside my vagina halfway to my esophagus to let me know I am about  ready.  A simple email is all it takes.  

Like any new Mother of a baby/website I am nervous, hopeful, and insanely proud.  I hope I can do it.   The anticipation is killing me.  Even my Mother is excited for my new baby.  Will people like the new site?  What if no one does?  Can I handle people rejecting my precious baby?  How will I learn the new technology.  This website is an extension of me, just like a child.  I know my new website will have bumps in the road, just as I know Lucas and the boys will have bumps in life.  My job is to take it all in stride, stay calm, and not hit delete.

So here I wait, waiting to push and deliver the all new www.meggansamom.com  Waiting to get the all clear…ten fingers…ten toes…a new life waiting to unfold…one post at a time.

A Change Is A Comin’

Hello All!!  Exciting news at meggansamom.com  MY NEW WEBSITE IS ALMOST READY!!! It is CRAZY good and I hope you all like it.  meggansamom.com is expanding and growing. Finally something growing besides my butt.  I have hired a great design team, Zest Studios, and I will be inveiling my new logo, stationary, and website in the very new future.  The Style Page and Kitchen Page will also be activated and we will be adding a video component as well.  In fact, I tape my first segment this Thursday!   Hopefully the new site will be a new day here providing laughs, photos, style, the latest in exercise, and great recipes.  It has been a lot of work, but I think it is worth the time and $$$.  A place where Moms can get information and fun daily…now if I could only get Brad Pitt.