Diagnosis: Cancelitis

Once you have children the first thing to go, besides your waistline, plucked eyebrows, fashion sense, clean floors, sense of direction, memory, and pedicures, is the ability to commit to scheduled plans.  I would say that I make it to about 20% of the appointments that I schedule.  With that average, if I were a baseball player I would definitely have a scorching steroid problem to stay in the game.  Well, I don’t play baseball much, or have a steroid problem.  I have cancelitis: the chronic canceling of plans.

Cancelitis affects all mothers, but especially mothers of toddlers and young babies.  My calendar is nothing more than wishful thinking with lines scratched though dates of appointments.  The biggest pain in the ass is always have to come up with watered down reasons why I can’t make it to an appointment.  I always say, “sorry the baby is unexpectedly sick, or I we just couldn’t seem get out of the house in time.”   Which is true. 

 Sometimes though I fantasize about just letting the truth hang on out.  I fantastize about calling up the hair salon, and when the nineteen-year-old stylish salon receptionist curtly asks why I can’t make the appointment I want to tell her to go Google explosive diarrhea.  Tell her what she is looking at on Google is only partially contained in my son’s diaper, the rest is on me.  THAT is the reason I will not be making it to get my hair trimmed, and thanks to hormones after pregnancy, get the back of my neck shaved.

I want to tell the dentist that I am sorry that I have to cancel my appointment for a teeth cleaning because I have not been able to be very clean myself as of late…and my teeth are just scratching the surface.  We are waaaay beyond not flossing.  With the house, dishes, laundry for three boys, toys, cars, bathrooms, and baby butt to keep clean, sometimes I don’t see a shower or toothbrush, for quite a while.

I have cancelitis this morning.  I was supposed to meet a contractor at the house to get an estimate on a bike shed.  Fair enough.  Then I spent all last night in the ER with a son who was spiking a 104.5 fever and coughing his lungs out.  Turns out my baby has pneumonia.  Once again I have packed up to my Mom’s and we are hopefully on the mend, but meeting the contractor will regretfully not happen.

Sometimes when you have cancelitis friends cancel you.   I was actually dropped by a new friend, also a new Mother oddly enough, because I wasn’t returning ALL her phone calls.  It truly wasn’t intentional.  I want to keep up with everyone, but with three kids…etc. etc. etc. I honestly don’t know where the days go. 

Unless you have walked a mile in my bathrobe holding a baby, while doing homework with a twelve-year-old, while texting your teenage stepson so you know where he is after school…don’t judge.

The good news, my friends with older children tell me that the cancelitis gets better as your children get older.  You are never 100% cured of cancelitis, but you can manage it with childcare, play dates,  and hopefully a little one with a rockin’ immune system by the time he starts school.  That being said, my good friend Cheryl just had to cancel dinner plans last weekend when both her girls (age 6 and 7) unexpectedly came down with the flu.  We are hoping to get together some time before her kids start high school.

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.