Pray For Us

                                  ”Can you stop changing the water into wine, I am trying to take a shower.” – Comedian Steven Wright  

 We are not a particularly religious family, although I was baptized Catholic and my husband is a former Mormom.  Slowly and steadily though we have been returning religion.  I don’t know if it is the baby, wanting to feel closer as a family, or just a connection to the community, but we have been regularly attending a great Presbyterian chuch…and that’s where the funny starts.

We all try our best, but we don’t really know the ins and outs of the church service process.  I shudder to think if we attended a Catholic service.  All that up and down.  I seem to be sitting when I should be standing and vice versa.  I always felt like a Catholic service was one giant version of the arcade game Whack A Mole. You were never sure when everyone was going to pop up in their pews.  You have to stay alert, stand up too soon and God bonked you on the head. 

Presbyterian service is pretty straight forward though and all five of us seem to flow through the doors and take our seats without any major mishaps.  It wasn’t until the donation basket made its rounds that we had our first  church hiccup. As the donation basket filled with cash passed our laps my husband put a $20.00 bill in.  Both the older boy’s eyes lit up. 

All that money. 

Reilly:  (in his best inside voice – which is really an outside voice inside), “Why are they passing a basket full of cash?” 

Me: “It is a donation basket for the church.” 

Reilly:  ”Donation for what?”

Me:  “Donation to help the church function.” 

Reilly:  “I thought church was free.” 

Me:  “It is, but the money is so the church can help people.”  

Reilly:  ”What?  Wait, I don’t get it.” 

I was getting nowhere explaining to the boys in a hushed Mom whisper the meaning of the donation basket.  Us, being restaurant people, I had to break it down into terms the boys would understand.  Desperate, I finally blurted out , “That’s Jesus’ tip jar.  We put money in to say thank you for the good spiritual service.”  OOOOOOHHHHH!!!  Then silence….they got it.  Just as I was patting myself on the back for the break through with my step-sons Reilly’s voice asked. “If Jesus died for our sins and is in Heaven, what’s he going to do with all that money?”

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