Quitting Heroin Would Be Easier

 

“They tried to make me go to rehab; I said No, No, No!” – Singer Amy Winehouse

If there was a rehab for Fran’s Salted Caramels then I would refuse to go.  I am a junkie.  I am a complete crack head caramel head. As the saying goes in AA, “One is too many, 1,000 never enough.”  These babies are delicious and the best candy I have ever tasted.  They come BEAUTIFULLY packaged as well. The boxes and ribbon are very high end.  I am telling you, the thought of these salted chocolate caramels keeps me up at night, almost as much as Lucas, my baby.

My husband’s bakery started carrying Fran’s Salted Caramels off and on a little while ago.  This product is one of the very few things Ettore brings in “from the outside.”  Virtually EVERYTHING we makes at Ettore’s (his bakery) is handmade in house, from the pastries to cookies and cakes.  For Ettore to bring chocolate in it really has to be exceptional, (with the exception of Christmas when we bring in little plastic polar bears that poop chocolate covered raisins.  Tis the season).

We went to dinner last night at the bakery and as we were leaving I spotted the caramels at the register.

That gorgeous packaging.

That beautiful ribbon. I was home.

I screamed out loud (like I used to scream for Tom Cruise before he went crazy) and I snatched a box right off the counter.  Harrison, my stepson, replied with an, “OH BOY, here we go again.”  He still hadn’t forgot the last time I got my hands on some Fran’s.  I ate TWELVE in a row.  My family fell on the sword for me and finished off the box, just so I would stop. After shaking the box, just to hear the familiar chorus of the caramels chiming inside, I downed two before we even got to the car.  Harrison grabbed the box out of my hands and hid it in the glove box.

Harrison:  “WHOA THERE.  You need to pace yourself.”

Me:  “Harrison, give me that box of caramels.”  I was starting to to twitch.

Harrison:  “You can have them back after we get home, you shouldn’t eat those caramels and drive.”

Me:  “Just give me one for the road.”

Harrison:  “No.”

Me:  “Harrison, give me a damn caramel!”

Harrison gave me a caramel and we drove home.  As Harrison gently reminded me about my Weight Watcher’s points and moderation a sound as loud as a 747 rang in my ears and all it screamed was GIVE ME MY FRAN’S SALTED CARAMELS!!  When we got home Harrison forgot to take the caramels out of the glove box.  YES!  I grabbed them out of the glove box and ran inside the house and shook the box of caramels in Harrion’s face yelling, “You forgot, HA HA, you can’t stop me NOW!!”  Harrison calmly stared at me with the look of a seasoned drug counselor/Dr. Drew.  His face said silently, you’ll quit when your ready.  Well, I’m not ready.  If loving these caramels is wrong, then I don’t want to be right!

Makes a great gift.

For me.

*I did not receive a product sample or compensation for this post.  The views expressed here are my own.

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