Tri-Lingual

I am an interpreter.  I speak three languages.  I speak English, Teenage Stepson, and Teenage Stepson’s Father (also my husband).  I am quite proud of my abilities and my fluency, especially in the last two languages.   I wish a course had been offered in speaking Teenage Stepson in college.  It would of saved me and my TWO Spanish tutors a lot of grief!!  Lo ciento Jose and Juan, I tried.  Hugs.

If you too would like to speak Teenage Stepson and Teenage Stepson’s Father I would like to give you a few hints.  Silence is the key and both languages use it quite often, but they mean totally different things.  For Teenage Stepson silence always means YES.  For instance, ask your teenage stepson if he got his report card….silence.  That means yes he did get it, often two weeks ago.  Ask your teenage stepson if he dented the car….silence.  That means yes,  again probably two weeks ago.  Ask your teenage stepson if that cute girl he was walking next to after school is the same girl he (not so) secretly texts till 2:00 a.m……silence.  That definetly means yes.     

Teenage Stepson’s Father is exactly the opposite.  Silence means no.  For instance, your teenage stepson asks his Father for twenty dollars….silence.  That means no.  Your teenage stepson asks his Father to borrow the car (the same one he will return with the bumper dented) and…..silence.  Again that’s a no. 

As an interpreter of Teenage Stepson and Teenage Stepson’s Father one of my primary duties is to bridge the communication gap between the two parties.  Often deciphering for the other what amounts to only a series of grunts and muffled slurs.  Also it should be noted that a peculiar hearing loss occurs in all teenage stepsons and the Father of teenage stepsons.  Before a boy becomes a teenager his hearing, as well as the hearing of his Father, seems to be just fine.  However, once the teen years hit, a most odd hearing loss occurs.  Don’t worry in almost all cases the day the teenage stepson turns twenty all hearing for both seems to miraculously return.  That being noted, a conversation usually goes something like this.

Harrison (teenage stepson):  “Wassup?”

Ettore (teenage stepson’s Father):  “What?!  What’s up where?”

Meggan (Interpreter de fabulousness):  ”Harrison is saying hello.”

Ettore:“Pffft.” (Blows air signaling frustration)  “Hello son.”

Harrison:  “What?”

Meggan:  “Your Father is greeting you back.”

Harrison:  “Huh.”  “Oh.” (That means thank you for picking me up from school).  NOTE: Whenever you see your teenage stepson within twenty seconds of greeting each other the conversation will almost ALWAYS turn to food.   “SOOO, what’s the 411 on food tonight?”

Ettore:  “What?”

Meggan:  “Harrison wants to know what we are having for dinner.”

Ettore:  “Grrrrrr.”

Harrison:  “What?”

Meggan:  “Your Dad thinks we should eat at home tonight.  Eating out is expensive.”

Harrison:  “Whatever.”

Ettore:  “What?”

Meggan:  “Harrison says, eating at home is fine.” 

Ettore and Harrison:  “mrrph…pfft…uh…heh.”  That means I love you Dad and I love you son.    You get the point.  As an interpreter of both Teenage Stepson and Teenage Son’s Father you have to walk between two worlds, but trust me it is a journey worth taking.

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