Trying To Fly The Friendly Skies

“I can’t stand to fly, I’m not that naive, men weren’t meant to ride with clouds between their knees”  – Lyrics from Superman by Five For Fighting

I HATE FLYING!  Hate it, hate it, hate it.  There I said it, I am terrified to fly.  No sugar coating that one.  Ettore and I just got back from a quick flight to and from Los Angeles for a friend’s wedding.  The total flight each way is one hour and ten minutes.  For me, that is one hour and ten minutes too long.  When we landed I felt like I should have some kind of awards ceremony. 

“Meggan DID IT!  Hoorah!!  She is a hero…and very brave…She flew Southwest Airlines for over an hour!!”

This completely rational irrational fear has caused some major bumps in my life.  When I was a television reporter I spent roughly six months in the news helicopter reporting and videotaping traffic and breaking news from the sky.  It was a thrilling experience…except the fact that I was terrified and every day when I went to work I thought I was going to die!  I needed a job, so I mentioned nothing to the station and cried every morning in between my live hits and quite often broke out in hives.  I WAS A HOT MESS.  The fear of flying got so bad that eventually Ettore had to drive my fragile psyche to the helicopter pad because I couldn’t keep it together in the car on the way to the airport.  I have shed tears in the skies all over Northern California. 

Ettore on the other hand is NOT afraid of flying and can sleep through turbulence like a baby.  Something I find maddening.    Nothing scares that man, (except the thought of having more children).  Truth, when we are flying and Ettore is reading or worse, sleeping,  I get pissed.  How can he be so relaxed when we are OBVIOUSLY going to die!!  Ettore sits there snoring and I am crying, rocking back and forth, sucking my own thumb, and  slowly pulling out bits of my own hair.  I want to lean over and whisper in his ear…”I am pregnant…with TWINS…ha ha ha ha.  You want to see a grown man freak out.  We would both be begging for Jesus to save us at 40,000 feet.

Motherhood has changed all of this.  Since becoming a Mom and a Step-mom I have literally had to “ball up” and put my big girl panties on.  I am working really hard with Therapist Richard to overcome my fear of flying.  I don’t want the boys to take on my fear as their own and I really want to set a good example.  I want my boys to know we all have fears in life, but you face fear with dignity, strength, and courage and try not to let fear stand in the way of your dreams.   And if by chance, dignity, strength, and courage don’t work for you then Xanax and large amounts of alcohol generally does the trick.

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.